The Fine Line Between Getting What You Want And What You Deserve

I’m writing this entry as per request.

When faced with a dilemma, have you ever wondered if that’s what you wanted or what you deserved? How and when do you draw the line between the two?

It is easy to split hairs if you’re coming from a third person’s perspective, but being the one tangled in a shady predicament feels like nothing’s ever easy and it’s best to just breakdown.

The question is tricky though. It is to me because I always believed that if you allow something to happen, you deserve it. Hence, you wanted it since you allowed it. However, the word deserve does not belong in that context. It is not deserving in a sense that a person is sentenced or comforted in exchange for choosing to do either a good thing or a bad thing. It is, per contra, intertwined with one’s worth.

Our wants depend on our current needs. And needs come from this imaginary haze we call ego. When we need something so bad that we can’t operate without it, be aware that’s it’s the ego screaming. Also reflect on how people present themselves to others  to get what they want. Women, for example, oftentimes perpetrate the common blunder of using sex as a bait to catch that one big fish. Of course the sexual male sea creature will succumb to the game. But in the end, it’s those types of women who suffer from immense distress and suffering. Then they announce to all mankind that men are jerks. Really?

Sure we achieve a certain level of satisfaction when wants and needs are met, but once the ecstasy fades, we’re like hungry vampires craving for more blood to suck. And it sucks to be in that state. It sucks that we try to compensate for things that we feel are deficient in our lives when in reality, we unmistakably obsess on the outside rather than what’s on the inside.

It’s what’s on the inside that matters anyway. The rest are just spectators. If anything goes wrong in the future, as long as you take very good care of yourself, you won’t feel even a bit of shortchange. You’ll then stop blaming others for problems that were in fact caused by you. Try to shift that perspective as well.

Remember: those who put blame on others are the people who are so good at deflecting responsibility in their own lives.

Needy people are repugnant, don’t you agree? Exactly. So why be one?

That being said, in order to extricate one’s self from a terrible entanglement, one has to perform a mental check-up on how he/she grades himself/herself according to worthiness instead of drowning in melancholy.

Let’s do an exercise: rate yourself from 1-10; ten being the highest. If you think you’re a five, I suggest you work a little more on self-love. If you think you’re a seven, not bad, but still needs a little more work. Try spoiling yourself with your personal needs and make sure to not overdo it. If you see yourself as an eight or a nine, good for you! As long as you’re not saying that just to win the discussion to get this over and done with. And to those who rated themselves as a ten, congratulations! You all are ready to face the world with much less hesitation!

Here’s the thing, like what the English teacher, Bill said to Charlie in Perks of Being a Wallflower, “we accept the love we think we deserve.”

Therefore, if you’re a ten, you are always open to receive love from a fellow ten and so on. It’s common sense that isn’t used commonly. I, too, am guilty of drenching my pillow in tears when I am faced with a difficult situation. But tell you what, I don’t stay in agony for so long. I allow myself to release whatever type of resentment and bitterness inside of me then I rise up to the problem. Because really, what is there to sulk about? And for a long time that is. Besides, hating and blaming only contaminates my whole being. It sure does the same thing to you.

Finally, do yourself a favor. Stop selling yourself short. Refrain from settling for anything less than what you deserve just because it’s what you wanted in that certain moment. Keep in mind that ecstasy fades; it’s temporary. The one thing that’s continual and can or may leave a legacy is no one else but YOU. You are beautiful, amazing and worthy. Never ever forget that.

“I am so beautiful, sometimes people weep when they see me. And it has nothing to do with what I look like really, it is just that I gave myself the power to say that I am beautiful, and if I could do that, maybe there is hope for them too. And the great divide between the beautiful and the ugly will cease to be. Because we are all what we choose.” ― Margaret Cho

Advertisements

Cybercrime Law

Today is the day that our government implements the bill on Cybercrime Law. I’ve only been online for a few hours and I’ve already witnessed a lot of protesters do their own thing to voice out their grievances on the said bill. After all the online controversy on Tito Sotto’s plagiarized speech et al, the government has gotten too far with this I suppose? I’m all for moderating human rights and governmental rules, but in my opinion, there are far more important things to prioritize other than this law. Besides, it has been written on our bill of rights under the 1987 Constitution, and I quote,

“No law shall be passed abridging the freedom of speech, of expression, or of the press, or the right of the people peaceably to assemble and petition the government for redress of grievances.”
-Art III, Sec 4

Also…

“The privacy of communication shall be inviolable except upon lawful order of the court, or when public safety or order requires otherwise as prescribed by law.
Any evidence obtained in violation of this and the preceding section shall be inadmissible for any purpose in any proceeding.” -Art III, Sec’s 1, 2

It may be unlawful of me (at this time) to post about it, but we all have the right to freedom of speech and privacy don’t you agree? Considering the number of budding bloggers in the Philippines with different niches, how can they survive with this law? Our RH Bill is pending for the longest time now, why don’t they focus on that? Just because one senator got humiliated online? Is it even fair? Are we not allowed to speak for ourselves anymore? Are we the epitome of an abusive country that’s why our privacy must be taken away from us just like that? I read somewhere that “nobody owns the internet,” so why monopolize it now?
To be truly honest, I don’t see the point in this bill. It doesn’t even help our economic growth and our homeless fellowmen for crying out loud.
Please help us obtain our online right as a nation. The longer these public officials stay in position, all the more they’re becoming demented. And I don’t mean it literally, just so we’re clear. Unless you think otherwise.
I respect your opinion.
For more information on this new law that they want to pass, click: http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/story/276136/scitech/technology/phl-cybercrime-law-outrages-netizens

Writing Exerise ’08

As I was reviewing my old notes on writing, I came across this piece that I worked on four years ago. It was actually an assignment in college wherein students were asked to write their own obituaries. I, however, decided to write a story on how I pictured myself dying. I don’t quite recall the grade I got for doing this and not following directions, but anyway, point is it’s fun to look back on old writings that are hardly remembered.

Here goes…

MY DREAM EXIT

Talking about your own personal death seems morose to many, but facing the reality of one’s own demise takes courage and a little overcast of imagination. Planning your own death, much more having the foresight on how you will pass this world, is something that may seem illogical. In this piece, I will try to do the unthinkable and convey to you my thoughts on how I would like to go.

I’ve always dreamt of being a successful publisher one day, having my own firm and doing it my own way. I am happily married with twins, a boy and a girl. I personally handpick my employees and see to it that they are trained the way I want them to be. My husband is an international businessman that’s why he is out of the country most of the time. My daughter is a rising model and has just recently been chosen as one of the most beautiful faces in the country today. And my son is a private lawyer who is about to get married to a woman that I feel is not right for him. This is where my tale starts.

I just came from my son’s wedding night when it all happened. My husband is out on a business trip so I had to do the driving myself. Call it premonition, but something was uniquely special that day. Earlier, I was extra-attentive to my people. Hearing out their concerns and sharing a few laughs – things that I don’t normally do in the office. I have always maintained my focus and this has been the backbone of my formula for success. For the first time since my company started, that night, I actually made my employees happy.

In fact I never quite pictured my life to be perfect. I had a lot of conflicts during my childhood which I never made any effort to resolve. Maybe because I felt that I never had the time to fix things, much more waste my time in analyzing stuff that are not even connected to the pursuit of my goals. During the reception of my son’s wedding, I found myself in the midst of old friends; the same ones that I felt would hamper my growth. I found myself exchanging pleasantries and started reminiscing about the past. Later during that night, the air cleared, the stars shone brightly and my tears just rolled away in perfect ecstasy. I am whole again; I am happy.

After giving my son a big hug, I turned to his bride and welcomed her to the family with all sincerity. My son looked at me, puzzled but happy. I later realized that I have given my son the best gift of all, my solemn blessing.

I have bid my adieu, waved my goodbyes and decided to go home. Driving down the long highway usually bores me but this night was absolutely different. I couldn’t wipe away the smile on my face, the tears in my eyes and the joy in my heart. I finally found my inner peace. Then…

BAM!!!

A truck from the opposite way suddenly lost its control, swerved to my lane, and hit my vehicle head on – crushing the entire chassis like it was nothing. Sirens, lights, noises, silence, light…

This is how I want to go, QUICK, FAST, AND PAINLESS.