As I was reviewing my old notes on writing, I came across this piece that I worked on four years ago. It was actually an assignment in college wherein students were asked to write their own obituaries. I, however, decided to write a story on how I pictured myself dying. I don’t quite recall the grade I got for doing this and not following directions, but anyway, point is it’s fun to look back on old writings that are hardly remembered.
Talking about your own personal death seems morose to many, but facing the reality of one’s own demise takes courage and a little overcast of imagination. Planning your own death, much more having the foresight on how you will pass this world, is something that may seem illogical. In this piece, I will try to do the unthinkable and convey to you my thoughts on how I would like to go.
I’ve always dreamt of being a successful publisher one day, having my own firm and doing it my own way. I am happily married with twins, a boy and a girl. I personally handpick my employees and see to it that they are trained the way I want them to be. My husband is an international businessman that’s why he is out of the country most of the time. My daughter is a rising model and has just recently been chosen as one of the most beautiful faces in the country today. And my son is a private lawyer who is about to get married to a woman that I feel is not right for him. This is where my tale starts.
I just came from my son’s wedding night when it all happened. My husband is out on a business trip so I had to do the driving myself. Call it premonition, but something was uniquely special that day. Earlier, I was extra-attentive to my people. Hearing out their concerns and sharing a few laughs – things that I don’t normally do in the office. I have always maintained my focus and this has been the backbone of my formula for success. For the first time since my company started, that night, I actually made my employees happy.
In fact I never quite pictured my life to be perfect. I had a lot of conflicts during my childhood which I never made any effort to resolve. Maybe because I felt that I never had the time to fix things, much more waste my time in analyzing stuff that are not even connected to the pursuit of my goals. During the reception of my son’s wedding, I found myself in the midst of old friends; the same ones that I felt would hamper my growth. I found myself exchanging pleasantries and started reminiscing about the past. Later during that night, the air cleared, the stars shone brightly and my tears just rolled away in perfect ecstasy. I am whole again; I am happy.
After giving my son a big hug, I turned to his bride and welcomed her to the family with all sincerity. My son looked at me, puzzled but happy. I later realized that I have given my son the best gift of all, my solemn blessing.
I have bid my adieu, waved my goodbyes and decided to go home. Driving down the long highway usually bores me but this night was absolutely different. I couldn’t wipe away the smile on my face, the tears in my eyes and the joy in my heart. I finally found my inner peace. Then…
A truck from the opposite way suddenly lost its control, swerved to my lane, and hit my vehicle head on – crushing the entire chassis like it was nothing. Sirens, lights, noises, silence, light…
This is how I want to go, QUICK, FAST, AND PAINLESS.